The invasion continues.
Last night I was lying awake, hot and thirsty. I reached out for where
I normally put a glass of water by the bed, and remembered that tonight
I had somewhat unwisely replaced it with a bag of chocolate cookies.
Delicious, but not thirst quenching.
I got up to get a drink then remembered that I'd gone to bed without
brushing my teeth and headed for the bathroom. The bulb in the bath
room has gone and we don't have one to replace it (just like in the
living room and kitchen - it's geting a bit dark in our house now.
Atleast we can replace the one in the bathroom tomorrow - neither of us
is tall enough to reach the fitting in the other two rooms) so I was
standing there in the dark when I noticed something even darker moving
around on the shower curtain.
On closer inspection I realised that my greatest fears had been only
too true... yet another slug. It seems I had found our slug trail
culprit.
It still wasn't a large one - only an inch long (though slugs, being
wily beasts can stretch and squash at will), but I could not ignore
it's presence considering previous incidents. And the fact that it had
waited until night time to come out only made it's appearance all the
more sinister - had it really lain in wait for us to go to sleep before
beginning whatever nefarious nocturnal schemes it had hatched? Given
that it has a brain the size of a grain of rice I reasoned this was
probably just a touch paranoid, but still I couldn't shake the feeling
that something was afoot.
I kept my eyes trained on its every move as I reached out blindly for
my toothbrush, but to my suprise it wasn't in it's usual spot - it had
somehow been relocated to the window sill by powers unknown. Could this
be a part of the slugs' plan - had they been about to remove my
toothbrush to the garden before I stumbled across their machinations?
Or was this the work of the house ghost recently spotted in my
hallowe'en photographs? Either way I didn't want to risk getting a
mouthful of slug trail so I gave the brush an obssesively thorough
washing before I used it. Out damn spot!
While I brushed I wondered: where my nocturnal foe had come from? The
shower curtain seems a rather unusual place for such a creature. The
only point of entry I could concieve was the plug or overflow of the
bath or sink. But how did it get in there? It was all too much.
Once I was done with my ablutions I wondered what my next step should
be - could I really leave such a terrifying and dangerous creature
loose in my house? Action had to be taken. But I was a bit tired, so I
decided to take the action in the morning instead. I returned to bed
and dreamt of a house full of creepy crawlies.
It will come as no suprise to those of you well versed in the cunning
methods of the slug when I say that, upon my return to the bathroom
this morning, the slug was nowhere to be seen. Had this midnight black
slug just been some terrible phantom of the night? Or had he slunk back
to his fiendish lair to cogitate on further plans for my downfall?
I will keep you informed as events unfold. And I'm going to buy a new light bulb.
know the enemy
